


Don't Leave Me Here Alone

by secretfeanorian



Series: We, The Voyagers [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)
Genre: Backstory yay!, Gen, Well I'm trying a thing, if I get that far, no beta we die like men, there will be angst, we'll see how it goes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:01:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25774816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretfeanorian/pseuds/secretfeanorian
Summary: How exactly did Zil'ulma end up as the apprentice of Kei'tlya Kallig? Well, the short answer is "light kidnapping mixed with explosions" and the long answer is...
Series: We, The Voyagers [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1235978





	1. the weight of your bones

**Author's Note:**

> I've had a violent respiking of emotions about Zil'ulma. This combined with a diversion into explaining just who the fuck Darth Zurix is and how she fits into both Kei'tlya and Zil'ulma's stories led to...this. If you want to read that rant, it's on my twitter (same username).
> 
> Just for reference, "Nornashi" is Zil'ulma's birth name and while I will never, ever refer to her by that name when talking about her, she is exclusively referred to as Nornashi in this because timeline-wise, she's not Zil yet.
> 
> "I really don't know what I love you means. I think it means Don't leave me here alone."

The holotable flickers to life, washing the darkened room in a eerie blue glow. The masked form of the newly named Darth Imperius pauses, then tilts her head to one side. "Eshnserria." She phrases it as a statement, but the togruta can hear the question in the lack of a more formal greeting.

Indeed, she is disobeying orders to contact her master, but after what she'd found, she couldn't bring herself to ignore it and continue as assigned.

Now that Imperius is staring at her, though, she finds herself doubting. The Sith has so far been willing to accommodate her more sympathetic tendencies, but this is...

The silence stretches out past what Imperius would normally deem acceptable and Eshnserria begins to chew on her lip as she struggles with how to phrase this. She knows that no matter what answer her master gives, her priorities have already shifted, but she _wants_ Kei'tlya's approval.

She can't see the expression under her mask, but she can almost feel the concern begin to radiate and Imperius abruptly reaches up to pull it off entirely. The look she gives her immediately after doing so quiets Eshnserria's unease somewhat, but only somewhat.

"What's wrong, Serria?" The level of concern in the infamously ruthless Sith Lord's voice still throws her off and she suspects it always will. 

Finally, she takes a deep breath to steady herself and plows forward. "I...believe I've located the operative responsible for Darth Zurix's attacks against you, my lord."

"That...doesn't answer my question. Your instructions were to locate and eliminate them, then extract yourself. Additionally, if anything went wrong, you were to contact Ashara and only if she was unable to assist would I be contacted. By her. So I'll ask again, what's wrong?" 

_Kriff_. She knows she'd completely broken mission protocol, but had hoped that her assistance to Imperius' operations thus far would have allowed her more breathing room before being called out on it.

But Imperius doesn't seem angry at her disobedience, just confused and concerned. If she hadn't been on a live feed with the Dark Councilor in question, she might've pinched herself. But since she is, she just sighs and begins to rub at the bridge of her nose. "It's...well, it's bad. Really bad."

"How so? You don't think you and Ashara can handle them?" Imperius' tone becomes more business and less emotional as she begins to plot damage control.

Eshnserria can't decide whether she's glad Imperius is beginning to calm down or concerned that she seems to shutting down that emotional response she's counting on. "No, I can handle her alone if I have to, but..." She pauses, unsure how to phrase the next bit. "I...did a little extra digging after I confirmed her identity."

There is a moment where Eshnserria's entire body goes tense, waiting for a reprimand that she's been trained her whole life to expect. _How dare you set your foot outside what you were assigned, why do you always have to go and complicate things, why can't you just-_

But when she dares to look up at her master's face, the all-business expression has melted away and there, there is the woman who'd practically adopted her the first time they'd met.

"How is it bad?" Imperius asks like she's already expecting the most horrific thing she can think of.

Eshnserria has to pause to center herself again before she can delve into her report. "Well, she's basically a slave. In fact, as far as I can tell, she was sold to Zurix's family as a baby and that's how she came to her attention. And I haven't been able to find anything to indicate she was ever officially freed."

The absolutely feral snarl that escapes Imperius' mouth sends a shudder down Eshnserria's spine that has nothing to do with the chill of the room. She can see her master's fists clenching and unclenching at her sides as she desperately tries to bring her rage back under control.

Instead of waiting for her to do so, she continues on with her report, knowing that what she has to say next will only refuel the rage over and over again.

"It looks like Zurix has been training her since the age of three and there's a list here of at least a dozen methods of control that don't kriffing work anymore, no mention of how many effective ones she's got. Her training appears to be largely in infiltration and, well, playing bait for lack of a better term, but there's a note here commenting on an extremely powerful ability to use the Force to sustain herself through all kinds of kriffing-" Eshnserria breathes out through her nose, an angry huff full of a desperate kind of heartbreak she doesn't want to acknowledge. "Basically, she's been intentionally mutilated in a whole bunch of ways on various assignments just to see what happens and her mission results always remain...stable." She spits the last word out like it's carving up the lining of her throat to do it and from the other end of the holocall, she can hear some machinery or something creak ominously.

She has no doubt the room Imperius is standing in absolutely reeks of ozone and if she squints, she thinks she can make out faint trails of electricity jumping between her fingers.

"From what I've been able to access, her Force sensitivity is off the charts. She could kill Zurix with a flick of her finger." Imperius holds up a hand and she goes silent. There's a faint line of blood dripping down her chin from where she's bitten clean through her lip, but she doesn't seem to notice and Eshnserria isn't going to point it out.

"You don't need to argue... _usefulness_ ," Imperius finally says, her voice shaking with barely suppressed fury, "Forget disabling Zurix. Forget your entire mission briefing. Get that apprentice on side with you and get the hell out of there. I'll com Ashara and fill her in. And I'm sending Khem."

The breath she'd been holding in escapes Eshnserria's lungs and she can feel every muscle in her body loosen in sync. She doesn't even bother trying to conceal to gratitude in her voice when she responds. "Yes, my lord. Thank you, my lord."

"Oh, quit with the 'my lord' stuff, Serria. I think it's safe to say I'd be dead without your help, so you've probably earned the right to use my name." Imperius signs off of the holocall before Eshnserria can find a response for that.

Which, she decides, is probably for the best because how would she even respond to a statement like that coming from the mouth of Darth Kriffing Imperius. She suspects it only came out because of how vulnerable their conversation about this, Nornashi, had left her feeling.

On instinct, she goes to com Ashara, but stops herself when she remembers Imperius had said she would. And Khem. Imperius was sending her dashade. Kriff. She's taking this _very_ seriously. Khem is not subtle and the second he arrives on world, Zurix will be alerted to the fact that Imperius is moving against her.

But maybe not the fact that she already had been. So that gives her some wiggle room to find Nornashi and convince her to betray the master who apparently has her so well conditioned that she'll accept all sorts of abuse without even a hint of rebellion. Simple.

As unsure as she is about the likelihood of any of this working out, she knows one thing for certain. She will die before leaving that apprentice behind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is set much earlier in Kei'tlya's personal timeline than anything I've written previously and so she's actually a dramatically different person here. Far more ruthless in behavior and more cruel. She's in the middle of seriously turning her behavior around to more match the person she actually wants to be. Since Serria and Zil are the focus of this and Kei will largely be a background character, it probably won't be super noticeable how different her behavior (and Serria's perception of her) is, but I wanted to say something in case it it/ends up being that way.
> 
> Also, I won't tag it as such because it's vague pre-relationship at most, but Serria and Zil are the murder wives and I would die for their happiness.


	2. queerly drawn toward the unknown sea-deeps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, writing is hard. Words stink.
> 
> *muffled screaming*
> 
> An attempt was made. Sorta.

Going against everything Eshnserria has come to expect from missions where her target is an influential Sith Lord's power structure, Zurix's compound is barely on the outskirts of the jungle and appears relatively undefended.

Of course, three weeks of scoping it out has proven that it is very much not undefended, but even just the location itself is arrogance in its purest form. Darth Zurix is actively daring any enemies to challenge her head on.

Fortunately for Eshnserria and unfortunately for Zurix, they have no intentions of doing so. Instead, she is watching the compound, waiting for Zurix's apprentice to leave.

The information she and Ashara had managed to gather suggests that on the rare occasions that Nornashi is between assignments, she is free to leave the compound and wander as suits her. It also suggests this is a rare occurrence, but with no way to breach the fortifications without being detected, Eshnserria is forced to simply watch and wait. 

She supposes she could technically have a droid watching the compound for signs of the twi'lek nautolan hybrid (and she does, in fact, have a few positioned by the exits they're aware of), but there's a frantic, irrational urgency beating alongside her heart that insists she stay as close to Nornashi as she can get.

Imperius hasn't contacted her again in the five days since she was alerted to Nornashi's situation, but Ashara had informed Eshnserria four days ago that she'd managed to convince her to delay sending Khem Val. Which is...the only good news Eshnserria has gotten on this entire assignment so far. Convincing the apprentice to turn on her master will be hard enough with nothing else interfering, but it will be impossible if she never leaves the compound and then Khem shows up. 

She buries her face in her hands and gives into the urge to groan. Every muscle in her body that isn't cybernetic is aching and has been for hours. She's not built for this kind of hurry up and wait. 

Just when she's debating leaving the surveillance to the droids for a few hours and tracking down a real bed to sleep in, something _twists_ in the Force so fiercely that even she can sense it without needing to strain herself. Heart pounding, she refocuses her attention on the compound.

For a few minutes, nothing happens, but before she can slump back down, one of the side doors of the compound slides open. A pause of another few moments and then an albino twi'lek stomps out into the jungle. Eshnserria barely breathes as she watches her, heart in her throat. From this distance, she can barely tell that she's not a full blood twi'lek. If not for the slightly off kilter way her lekku fall down her back, she might've begun to doubt that bit of intelligence..

Nornashi disappears off in the direction of the city and only then does Eshnserria move. She fires off a quick update to Ashara, who's been relegated to coordinating things from the sidelines for the time being - "She's left the compound, heading to intercept" - and then practically slides down out of the tree she'd perched herself in.

With a silent gesture, she sends one of the probes to follow Nornashi, and then picks a more casual route heading in the same direction. If the twi'lek hybrid follows the path she thinks she will, their paths will cross before they reach proper civilization while appearing as if the togruta came from an entirely different direction than the compound they've both just left.

\----

Eshnserria keeps a high alert as she moves through the foliage, reaching out with the Force to try and pick up an indication of Nornashi before they actually walk into each other.

She knows her odds of sensing her if she's trying to hide are nonexistent, but nothing about the way she'd stormed out implied she was thinking about subtlety. The data from the probe indicates that she's so far following the predicted path, but that could change on a whim and in a second.

So focused inward as she is, she doesn't notice the root sticking up across her path until her foot connects with it and she goes down with a loud thud. "Stupid kriffing-" Eshnserria cuts herself off abruptly, remembering the other Sith apprentice she _knows_ to be close by and moves to stand.

Her right foot gives out under her before she can even make it to her feet and she continues swearing under her breath. The root and the fall somehow managed to twist the prosthetic so thoroughly that it'll probably need to be replaced. And she definitely won't be able to keep pace with Nornashi. That opportunity has now officially slipped through her fingers and the chances of getting another...

She lets out a quiet snarl of frustrated pain and in a moment of lapsed self control, picks up a rock and hurls it at the offending root.

It goes embarrassingly wide, but before Eshnserria can even consider throwing another, the beginnings of a chuckle come from the trees off the side of the path and she freezes. She already has a plan of attack formulated - grab hold of the tree she's leaning against, force herself to her feet, and stay on the defensive long enough for the droid to make it to her location and disable the intruder - when the source of the sound creeps out of the foliage, tilting her head curiously.

It's Nornashi. And Eshnserria freezes for an entirely different reason.

\---

Nornashi doesn't know what she'd expected to find when she diverted to investigate the sudden, abruptly silenced cursing. A temporary distraction from the pain shooting through her entire body, at most. Maybe some bounty hunter way out of their depth on the Sith heartworld. Or a Sith apprentice sent to spy on her Master who she could rip apart.

The togrutan woman about her age practically lying on the ground and swearing at her ankle all while looking a second away from tears is just about the last thing she'd expected. When the stranger grabs a rock and physically throws it at a nearby root, only to miss, that's the last straw and Nornashi can feel a laugh making it's way up her throat. 

She doesn't know why she lets it escape, but the second she does, the woman on the ground freezes in fear. She can sense her gathering herself for an attack and only then does she realize this stranger is Force sensitive. Sort of. Either she's an excellent shielder or she's barely sensitive at all.

Curious despite all her trained instincts screaming to kill her and be done with it, Nornashi moves out of the trees concealing her until she's standing practically on top of the strange woman. She tilts her head to one side as she contemplates the situation she's found herself in.

The togruta is frozen again, but it's not fear this time, not exactly and Nornashi watches her silently as she tries to puzzle out exactly what she's picking up on. There's anger and frustration and the stinging embarrassment of her fall being witnessed and; something else. She might call it a righteous fury, but the emotions are so churning that she's having a hard time pinning down specifics.

And so, her decision made, she offers the togruta a hand up. The only way to pin down the emotion she's sensing is to calm the person it's coming from.

She's stared up at in what appears to be complete bafflement. Impatiently, Nornashi raises an eyebrow and the hint appears to be gotten as the woman hurriedly grabs her hand and pulls herself to her feet. Nornashi takes note of the way she doesn't put any weight on her right foot and despite the saberstaff at her hip, the muscles she can see, and the training she can almost taste standing this close, she's confident she could take her.

"What exactly is someone so unforgivably distracted doing out here and how are you not dead yet if you're tripping over a root that obvious?" She asks more of a desire to distract from the sensation of needles on her skin than genuine curiosity and doesn't expect to get an answer.

The offended huff she gets out of the togruta she does expect, but when it's followed by an actual response, she's left blinking in further bafflement. "I was lost in thought and wandered off course." The tone is lacking any of the posturing and prideful spluttering she might have anticipated and for a few, unforgivably long moments, Nornashi just stares, trying to wrap this conversation into a box she can comprehend.

When that fails, she attempts to change course. "Well, your life must be full of the kind of easy luck that simpletons and fools depend on if you so casually decide to get 'lost in thought' in an environment like this. It can't be the Force guiding you, you're as good as Force-blind."

Again, this stranger leaves her off kilter. Instead of insulting back, she just snorts. "Yeah, my life does seem to run on crazy sort of luck these days. I try not to depend on it, but it is practically like clockwork." She shrugs, then eyes Nornashi appraisingly. There's a moment where she seems to contemplate something, and then she sticks out of her hand. "I'm Eshnserria."

Today has not gone as Nornashi was expecting in the _slightest_. She knows what she is supposed to do; Eshnserria is far too close to her Master's compound and she's seen her. Standing orders dictate termination, but the whole thing has been so surreal that it's not even a conscious decision when she takes the hand offered and shakes it. "Nornashi." And the Force sings.

**Author's Note:**

> *screaming*


End file.
